I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The air was thick with penises
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
