I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This is my gift to your gina
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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