When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he shaved USA in his pubs
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
