I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
