Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize