After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
