Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
