Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
