I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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