Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
