fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
