Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
