He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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