Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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