Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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