Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
