why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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