i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
