but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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