normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
