i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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