he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
