she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
