I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
