I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
