Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
