According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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