Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
did you just send me my own nude
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
