I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
