just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Randomize
