winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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