I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
