Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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