also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
