i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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