What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
