i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
