I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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