Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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