your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
