Everything about him screamed your future.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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