You're so nebulous sometimes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
