Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
