How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
