Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
