I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
