i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
