can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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