My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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