Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
