omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The feeling are messing with the penis
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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