porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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