just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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