im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
