btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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