So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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