His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
