It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
