Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
