Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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