What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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