Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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