I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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