What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
