How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
