How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ladies don't puke and tell
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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