The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
did i walk over a car last night?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
