elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
