What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
