Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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